In the month of May, a long-anticipated and satisfying conclusion to a beloved franchise finally made its debut. Yes, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 was fantastic. In that same month, however, we also got Fast X. It was advertised similarly to the aforementioned film — a game-changing final film that was a theatrical event — but its quality was infinitely more disastrous. Alas, Fast X feels like four unfinished first drafts of separate films slammed into one and reaches a predictable dead end. Diesel's conflicting statements about the franchise's future only add to this film’s thoroughly confusing identity. While Fast X brings the beloved "family" together once again for globe-trotting adventures, high-octane car races, explosive helicopter escapades, and sentimental reminiscing, it fails to offer anything fresh to win over new audiences. At this point, though, a lack of innovation is par for the course for the Fast franchise. 

Jason Momoa's portrayal of the new villain, Dante Reyes, is undeniably the nitro I needed to make it through Fast X. Momoa's committed and charismatic performance colorfully illustrates the character's flamboyant and chaotic nature. I really appreciated how unhinged and over the top Momoa’s performance and the character of Dante is. He kills, he jokes, he paints toes… what more can you ask for of an agent of chaos? You never know what the next words out of his mouth will be or how Momoa’s body mannerisms can shift in a scene, and this is absolutely for the better. Dante brings a level of unpredictability sorely missing from the rest of this bland, unexceptional movie. It's refreshing to finally have an entertaining antagonist in the franchise, as he injects much-needed stakes into the story. 

What is a Fast film without its superhuman family man Dominic Torreto (Vin Diesel)? While I have nothing against the actor himself, I cannot excuse how soulless Diesel has become in this role. Diesel moans and groans his way throughout this movie, including laughable attempts at making romance with Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty (resulting in a super awkward and cringey back rub and kiss on a bed near the start of the film) and making random comments about the importance of family. There is a specific scene where Dom and Dante square off and the topic of money comes up. Dom boasts in Dante’s face that he didn’t need his money and he burned it, and ironically, this is very similar to what Diesel has done with Universal Pictures. Somehow, he managed to light a mind-boggling 340 million dollars on fire to make this car wreck of a “final” part one.

At this point, critiquing the writing of a Fast and Furious movie seems almost futile. I could just say that it’s a Fast and Furious movie, and any point about its writing is immediately understood. The plot of Fast X feels eerily similar to the last five films, lacking any memorable elements. In fact, this film insists on constantly reminding you of a better movie. For instance, Fast X’s opening sequence is a callback to Fast Five’s bank heist sequence but told in an infinitely more jarring way. But wait, there’s more! The dialogue is also quite disappointing, and I’m sure AIs like ChatGPT could write more natural conversations. Every line is saturated with forced sentimentality, attempting to convince the audience of the characters' deep connections without investing in genuine emotional depth. The cringe-worthy phrases often lack coherence, especially when they try to introduce some sense of humor that always falls flat. These are in full force during the mission led by Tyrese Gibson’s Roman Pierce. Roman is a character who has never worked for me due to Gibson’s poor acting and his character’s awful “jokes”, and he continues to irritate in Fast X. Ludacris, Nathalie Emmanuel, and Sung Kang are also in his mission and roped into these cringe-worthy bits. Only Momoa and John Cena (returning as Dom’s brother Jakob) manage to salvage some redeeming qualities from the poorly-written script and make the film somewhat bearable. However, over the course of this two and a half hour slog, even their gags run dry.

Given the franchise's plummeting standards after F9, one could excuse the forgettable plot and terrible dialogue if the action sequences were captivating. Unfortunately, they blend into a dull mix of explosions, fast-moving objects, and characters incessantly shouting "Dom!!". This is compounded by severely underwhelming visual effect work, particularly when we got a shot of one of our family members inside of a car. Sure, cars careen through the air, crashing into buildings while bombs explode in the streets of Rome, and helicopters collide with cars. But none of these events are presented with any sort of style or sense, so it’s difficult to care.

What adds to how unmemorable these action sequences are is the lack of any sort of emotional attachment to these characters. This is largely thanks to how poorly these characters are treated narratively. For example, throughout this franchise, I have always found myself being drawn to Rodriguez’s Letty. Unfortunately, she is severely underutilized in Fast X, as she is reduced to the love interest of Diesel (with whom she continues to have zero chemistry) and relegated to the C-Plot for the remainder of the film (which does result in a somewhat cool action sequence that we randomly cut away from in the middle of the fight). In addition to the undercooked plotlines involving Rodriguez, newcomers Brie Larson, Alan Ritchson, and Daniela Melchior join the cast and get very little to do. However, the film suffers from an overcrowded narrative, with almost every new character having a minimal relationship to someone else in the "family” and having adding few other identifying features. This repetitive pattern leaves little room for meaningful character development, as the film jumps around to accommodate all the new faces. To be frank, the movie could have easily cut these characters and shifted the little they add to the overall story to preexisting characters. And to be franker, it should have. 

Many issues I have with a film can be somewhat overlooked if it ends strongly. Alas, Fast X sure does not. Without spoiling anything, the final five minutes of this film bounce between every barely connected plotline in this film to have them all converge at once. I was left baffled by some of these creative choices and amazed that the writers were able to get these ridiculous story decisions past Universal. 

The Fast Saga is a love-it-or-hate-it affair. I fully understand how some viewers simply want to enjoy two mindless hours (though now pushing two and a half) of dumb action with little expectation of intellectual engagement. I was one of these cinemagoers in the past for this franchise. In fact, I love Hobbs & Shaw, Fast Five, and Furious 7. However, those viewers who hoped the franchise would grow and develop authentically with each new installment are continuously let down. I personally think the early films in the franchise succeeded because of how minimal they are. These films took the subject matter of street racing and brought a dumb fun angle that was perfect for the minimal runtime. These films worked because the writers and directors gradually elevated the stakes, upped the outrageousness of the stunts, and added new, likable, and developed characters in each installment. However, these last three  entries have seen massive declines with each subsequent entry — resulting in the abysmal Fast X, which has unintentionally veered into sheer hilarity. With repetitive action sequences and an insistence on relying solely on the notion of family, it expects critics and audiences alike to accept mediocrity. Some audiences have, but I am not one of them. 

To conclude, Fast X is a disappointing film that suffers from several glaring issues. The directing is sloppy and lacks the finesse needed to deliver a cohesive narrative. The poor pacing drags the film down, leaving the audience disengaged and uninterested. The cast of characters has become too vast for meaningful connections to them or their storylines to exist. The attempts at humor fall flat, as the film’s largely unfunny jokes elicit more cringes than laughs. The film's action sequences are jarring and poorly executed, failing to capture the excitement and thrill that the franchise is known for. Overall, Fast X is a disjointed and unsatisfying experience that fails to deliver on its potential.

3/10